Moving to Japan as a single parent.

Before I came to Japan, I wanted to know if it was possible to bring my child with me. I've always wanted the opportunity to go but I didn't know if it was possible. However, after much prayer and determination, I decided to take the leap. It was by far the BEST decision that I've ever made.

Back home I had a job that I HATED! I couldn't stand the attitudes of some of the nurses that I worked with. There was just nothing for me there. All I really had was my dream of Japan. I had applied to JET twice and I didn't make the first round. Needless to say, I was devastated! After placing so much hope into going to Japan I decided to give it my last shot. I told God that if I didn't get a job this time, I was going to  leave the country and search for one.  I had really struggled with that choice; I didn't want to just up and leave with nothing. I couldn't imagine trying to survive without a job or even a destination. All I had was my dream of Japan. I decided to intensify my job search. I apply for over 30 jobs and only got 3 interviews. I was so excited when I found out that I had the job. I didn't have much time to prepare to leave. I found out that I got the job literally a month before I had to be there....Anyway, as you can see, things worked out!

Now, back to the title. There are a few things that you MUST consider before you take your child abroad. Consider the following:

1. Does your child have any Japanese language ability?
2. Will you have someone to take care of your child while you are away?
3. Do you have a good relationship with the father or full custody?

Q1 ~ If you answered "no" to question one then you are in for a ROUGH ride! I made sure that my daughter studied Japanese before we came. I started searching for schools when she was still in preschool. I wanted to find a school that had a language immersion program. When I saw Hinoki in Metro Parent ( a magazine for metro Detroit parents) I nearly screamed. I couldn't believe that I had found what I'd been searching for so easily. It was my birthday, National Scrapbook Day and Christmas all rolled into one. It was an amazing opportunity for her. When she arrived to Japan, she already had a level of fluency. Her Japanese wasn't amazing but she was and still is much more fluent than I am. 

Q2 ~ When I got the job, I knew that she would have to come later. There was just no way for me to do all that I needed to do with her there. I had to research about a visa, school, after school care and all the other things that children need. It's best to leave your child BUT I will warn you that when you reunite things might not go very smoothly. When my daughter came to Japan, I was super glad to see her but I didn't know what was in store for me. She was very ANGRY with me for leaving her in America. I told her why I was leaving her but she didn't really understand. Talk to them, and make SURE that they know why you are leaving and when you will return.  In my case I didn't return, she came to me. It's just something to think about

Q3 ~ Ah, yes. This lovely question. This is the most important part of the equation! If you have a good relationship, AWESOME! That will make your road much easier. You already know that you'll need a passport and a notarized document giving his approval. If you don't have that then get ready to go to court. The only way to bypass that is if you have either sole custody, or only your name is on the birth certificate. Going to court is going to be very expensive. If you are in Michigan, you'll need a change of domicile. That just gives your child permission to live in another place. Oh, make sure that you KNOW what your court order says. My mistake was waiting to leave to find out what my court order said. Anyway, those are just a few things that you MUST be aware of. 

Phew! This has been way more than enough typing for one day! If you have any specific question, let me know. I'll write another post about life specifically in Japan with children. :) 

As we say in Japan またね！

Nicole